Monday, October 26, 2009.
My heart pain for the second time in my life. Its unbearable. Tossed and turn the last night in bed. And yet i was unable to sleep. Went offline ytd at abt 12am but only fall asleep at 1am. Listen to janice's advice to listen some songs if i ever think of him again. But still , i was unable to sleep and woke up at 6am this morning. During that 1 hr, i think alot. Last night is the night when i felt damn miserable. Everything hurts. And it was such a long night before i finally see sunlight. Memories keep flashing back. And i hate it. Im sad tat very night really sad. But somehow tears jus could not flow out. And that is the worse thing i experienced. My heart pain like shyt the last night. What to do ? But to jus let it bleed. Sooner or later it will stop i guess.
Seriously I hope i can forget everything, everything! How come it is so difficult ? So stupid of mi ytd to tink of those foolish things -.- came to think back. It is not worth it! Cutting my hands over it ? Nah. Stupid thinking. But ytd was different i feel that doing so. I would feel lesser pain. I still got my friends, family , studies. After all it does not seem too bad too. But the pain jus wont go away. I should not have even put in real feelings -.- and now who is suffering? Mi not him okays. When i was sad, will he be sad too? Nah i doubt so. So its not worth crying too. But in my heart i feel like crying.
So now i noe i having been listening to lies all the while. Cant get over? -.- I really thought so arh. But now i noe its not. Even if u saw this now, don even need to pity mi or wat. I don need it. I don noe by saying this will i anger u ? Even if so, so be it.
But anyway thanks friends. U all really cheer mi up alot. Thanks for listening to my problems :D Aww so end up i only slept for few hours ? But later really need to jiayous for the english o lvl exam. Nothing matters to mi most other than this ler. After all we only met by chance. A dream all along. Time to walk out of it ler. Where are you when i sad? Oh nevermind. I don even wan to tink abt it ler.
Thats all now. I only wan to numb myself. I wanna do alot of things so long as i can forget u. Suddenly i miss going to school everyday X: So ya .. no mood to update ler.
My heart has stopped.
See nothing , hear nothing , feel nothing
Happiness is Best @ (: 8:56 AM
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